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The greatest price I will ever pay if I am to truly follow Christ is not in service, in giving, in church attendance, in helping others in need… I pay the price with my soul’s life.  My self.  My mind. My will. My emotions. My opinions. My right to have a say so. My right to choose who to love. The only way to be able to lay down my life for Him is if I see how truly lovely He is. Then it becomes a joy, instead of a religious duty. Until I pay this price daily… habitually, I remain a poor man.  Every day that I do not see Him for who He really is… every day I remain blind and dumb without power… powerless… and the testimony of His reality in front of man is only empty words and wishful thinking. Lord, deal with me.

never before been at this place.  new heights, new valleys… and never alone.  the reality of Jesus Christ indwelling deep inside of me becomes a daily, practical experience.  every single day brings forth evidence that Jesus is real and that, well, He is REAL. for the longest time, I had prayed that He would become my true reality (experience), and now it is happening.  what a price we must pay if we are to even begin to see who He is.  the veil has hardly been cracked for me, and it’s taken what seems like forever (to me) to get to this point. but now that it is here, it is like a soldier returning home to embrace the baby born while he was away.

My heart is being changed daily and overnight.  what once hindered my fellowship with God has been revealed by the Light and has been dealt with by the blood and faith in the blood. when my heart condemns me from the Lord’s light, I simply accept the fact that it is true and that I need a Savior to save me from my self.  Repentance makes way for salvation.

How do I know that my sins are forgiven?  I know because I know.  I feel that they are forgiven.

the world suddenly appears wide open… a field of wheat.  God has blessed me in so many ways and I see in my spirit the time to move is coming up soon.  preparation is now.  training is now.  the days are evil and time is short.  people need to experience this reality.  i must die, He must live.  perhaps in a year, when the last of the debt is gone, and the townhouse is sold, it will be time to drop all that remains and get ready to move where the Spirit leads.  i can’t think of a more exciting, adventurous life. no strings attached, just love of the Father… the currency which pays all the bills in our lives. i once heard someone say, “how cool would it be to just put the map down, spin the bottle… and go where it points.”  sounds romantic… feels dangerous… seems about right to me.

i truly am falling in love with our Church in Birmingham.  It is such a great way to practically live out being a healthy, life-giving member of the Body of Christ.  i’ve never been a part of such a place.  much growth has occurred in my spirit because of Mosaic.  there are many challenges there and plenty of opportunities to die so that Christ may live (Galations 2:20).

it is my prayer for you, oh dear one person who reads this, that you ask yourself a good question.  “If I am not testifying about Christ and his Life inside of me, then I am not experiencing Christ the way I meant to experience Him.”  It’s a question that has been challenging me and rocks me every day…. and rightfully so.  You are loved by the Father, beloved.  I pray that you find your heart’s desire in Him alone.  Seek first His kingdom, and He’ll give you the desires of your heart, for the desires you have are actually His desires.

from my deepest core received a deepest message
sent from deepest Sender Who has always broadcasted
a pure translation of heart and purpose
to express a Life that is uncreated
like an empty glove waiting for a hand
to come into its being and fill the mold
are You to me that i’ve always longed
once had searched to be filled by other dry sands
but You, who found me i can only say true
that the reality of You has become my fuel.

when the light above shines within
and sheds the darkness and blemished skin
to make a way and purge throughout
a divine nature that’s wrought about.

The True Lover disintegrates all.  Nothing left behind.  No residue.  No gunk. Only pure love that, once truly received, cannot be broken… nor will it ever be eternally disturbed.

wanderings in darkness
from a hardened heart
that turned from God
in the blink of an eye.
Walking among the dead
with stone faces and callousness.
But behind the deep empty eyes
is a scream for salvation-
and to be delivered to LIFE!
repentance quickly restores
by turning the heart back to Him…
and the deadened child is now reconciled
as the fragile vessel container of divinity.

And now free to walk-
free to be
in the land of the Living
in the Light of the Living.
Able to shine again, the Life inside.
Right before God and right before man.
Harmony that seemed so distant
has once again drawn nearer than ever.
To dispense the Life-
that once has been tasted,
can never be denied.

Psalm 27, Psalm 56

what if I healed you?
What would you do?
Would you be like the nine…
and not follow through…
With the promise they made Me,
when we first met.
And I kissed all their sores
and restored all their health.

What if I healed you?
And made you better than new.
Would you be forever changed?
Or forget all that I just did for you.
Would I be just a good dream?
Or perhaps be used for fame?
Would you wake up tomorrow,
unchanged and back in chains.

Before you pray to Me,
there is something you must know.
That when I give what you need,
means that much will be required.
And to consider the price,
that the healing will demand.
For My Life to be poured in,
means that my Life must be poured out.

not that anyone else has gone before
and will ever lead a hand
and into dry and desert lands
before the foundations of the world began
into a wild and dangerous space
to disappear without a trace
inside one’s soul but visible to all
victorious white horse to abide
without a saddle-gripping-main He rides
wielding sword and fiery eyes
on top of clouds and waters subside
and baptize along the ridges of mountains
to pour living water from The fountain
sending forth oh Comforter prior to arrival
and wash clean all the mire
speak and may the heart not be hardened
but awake in the night middle with a holy startle.
whisper oh Voice, speak oh gently
to a heart that longs for guidance and reality.

Deeper love… no fear.  Total abandonment, heart pounding, thrilling dance of consummation with The definer of love, The Definer of love, The definition of true sacrifice and romance where all is given up to gain everything we’ve ever truly wanted.  He draws His seekers… His remnant… to Himself… by naturally pulling us into His Self like magnets… no… planets… being sucked into His gravitational pull to orbit and spin around like dandelion seeds blown by the wind into springtime airs so welcome and so true – the tension continues to be almost unbearable… deep groanings inexpressible by human speak.  Our Lover is here, yet away.  Even still, the imprint of love, which is a fleeting glance of things to come… a promise… The promise… drives us… and is The fuel… the passion in our hearts to rise up and spring forward in newness of life where fear becomes courage and doubt becomes faith.

the moon that hides behind the earth
cannot absorb and reflect the love
that longs to be seen on the other side
that separates the two in great divide
with bursting rays of solar love
the light waves are always moving out
but cannot be seen by hardened heart
for the moon’s surface is cracked and dry
from the lack of nutrient uncreated life
and has turned its back on the Giver of All
its disobedience has made,
once was a heart of flesh,
a tampered conscience with a heart of stone.
the moon cannot breath and cannot shine
the moon cannot beat the life inside.
the moon cannot feel and identify
with its fellow brother and sister stars.
the moon can only hide behind
the world that separates from the glory Child.
And now it simply lies in darkness
with a face that is empty and clenched fist
and stays in orbit to only spin
with its only limited strength comes from within
and a prison it has now been found
by turning its back on the very One
it longs to behold.
An eclipse in night and saddened thought.
For the moon now only longs
to be set free… and to be brought.
And the night celestial ball
can only shed a tear inside its core,
longing for the possibility to be hidden no more.
For the earth to be removed
and no longer separate.
And to bask in the glory of life and light.

Deep silence occurs, and yet it’s so loud.
Quiet in the car and quiet moving about.
Elbows brush other elbows.
Late night wake ups where prayers take place.
And longing to be reconciled becomes the fate.

Meanwhile in the sky above, the moon decides its way…
to heed the voice:
“It doesn’t have to be this way.”
Awake, awake. Come out, come out.
Turn back to Me and receive a new heart.
A heart that can receive the health and life
that the hardness has stolen and hidden in night.
For when you, dear moon, open your heart,
you return to the altar…
and I can now again pull back the veil
that divides us from each other
And now that you see Me,
and I see you.
You can now behold My beauty
and be soaked up through-and-through.
And reflect My love into the world.
And receive My goodness and My restore.
So beat so deep, you precious moon,
for the heart is restored and catapults,
and slingshots you from out of the night
and into basking in My glorious light.
hope restored and harmony released
and dances all day and all night with Thee.